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| Forum » Foro Liga International 55 League » Slaying the Unicorn | Date | |
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From today's Razgriz Review-Journal: With today's 3-2 Striker Cup victory over Stoke, the Demons of Razgriz earned their 7th straight victory. Despite the promotion to Division 4 and the 19 game win streak the Demons had going into the first round of the International 55 Cup, the squad was still facing noticeable skepticism in both their regular league and in the private league. Losing the first two matches of the private league fueled those who doubted the Demons. "I believe 'Lost Weekend' by the Qemists sums up how I felt during that lost weekend," DoR GM Ace McZero recounted, "What exactly happened to the team is beyond me. All I know is that they lost their first two games." The front office quickly struck a deal with the Republic of China to send 100 newborn babies to Razgriz for an undisclosed amount and the team quickly went on an undefeated week including breaking .500 in Intl 55 play. But the lackluster performance against Timmy Messi FC despite the B-team playing was still cause for concern. Surely enough, the next time the Demons took the field for a Reg league game, they were upset and dominated on the Footballers home turf. And yet here they are now, with a 7 game win streak and undefeated in 8, looking better than ever and even making waves in the Intl 55 league against two of the top teams in the league, drawing against FC Savlje and pulling off a miraculous upset vs. AC STL this past weekend. "I believe 'Lost Weekend' by the Qemists sums up how I felt during this past weekend," said McZero after the 3-2 victory over Rebsiot's powerhouse, "But I'm proud of my guys for the way they played this round. The name of the Demons of Razgriz game is Possession, and my Demons did a lot of possessing during this recent run which has created many scoring opportunities. They will feast well this week." But what has been the catalyst for salvaging what once seemed like a lost *season*? Never one to keep secrets, of his own or anyone else's, Ace explained: "After that loss to footballers, it became obvious that asian babies weren't cutting it. But because my players will happily eat anything, switching the diet around after such an embarrassing loss wouldn't solve the problem. So I fed them Ke$ha. Lots and lots of Ke$ha." After training, every member of the team was strapped to chairs and forced to watch on the team HD big screen LCD jumbotron the music video for Ke$ha's 'Blow', featuring the grisly and brutal slaying of unicorns at a formal wine tasting party by Ke$ha and her boy toy of the week. With rainbows. Screams could be heard coming from the team amphitheatre as the first go-around in the 12 hour loop of the video played, with star MDF George Welsh being heard finally confessing at the top of his lungs that he's half British on his father's side. By the 8th hour though, only the video could be heard from the room. By the 11th hour, the entire squad could be heard booming the chorus in unison. "This was an excellent team training and bonding exercise," gloated McZero, "The deaths of so many unicorns by rainbow guns was nothing short of awe-inspiring. It certainly helped that I counted 11 unicorns being slain during the video and I was able to use that as a sticking point. Just pretend the other team are unicorns." The Demons have been chanting the chorus over and over again before every match since that fateful day and seem to be playing as if possessed themselves. It's unorthodox training like this that separates the haves from the have not's, and if it works, then that's all that matters. The training is so effective, that the Razgriz Public Broadcast System piped Ke$ha's video onto every channel on Razgriz television. Ace McZero believes the fan support from this point forward will be tremendous. "It's American pop at its finest! Super catchy and so stupidly simple! The chorus is five words long--the perfect length for a good team chant. Good luck to anybody playing in our lair this season, 'This place about to BLOW OHHH OH OH OH OHHHH OH OH OHHHH!'" Edited by AceMcZer0 05-07-2011 20:14 Edited by AceMcZer0 05-07-2011 20:15 Edited by AceMcZer0 05-07-2011 20:26 |
05/07/2011 20:12 |
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In striker news now...with appropriate picture. http://uk.strikermanager.com/inicio.php?accion=/noticias_periodico.php%3Ftipo%3Dperiodico%26id_noticia%3D158%26inside%3D1 Added credit to you Ace Edited by rebsiot 05-07-2011 20:29 |
05/07/2011 20:28 |
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my gratitude to you sir. | 05/07/2011 20:50 |
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it occurred to me last night that "slaying the unicorn" could be a euphemism for self-gratification.... Just sayin. Edited by rebsiot 07-07-2011 05:01 |
07/07/2011 05:01 |
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