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i'll start. Demons of Razgriz manager Ace Mczero's unhealthy obsession with Lady Gaga has led to one of the largest transfers in club history. "The chorus to 'Judas' would make for an excellent stadium chant," confided McZero after this morning's Striker Cup PK-victory, "but there were several factors that needed to come together in order to make it work: A man named Judas that everybody could fall in love with, playing a popular and heroic position on the pitch, and this guy has to be freakin' good." In acquiring 53-rated GK Kevin "Judas" Downey via hostile clause, the Demons believe they got their guy. He proved as much in his first match in today's striker cup contest. After giving up only one goal to RSD Alcala in regulation and saving multiple balls in PK's, the traveling Demons' fan club didn't even need to be brainwashed to start filling the stadium with Lady Gaga's famously controversial song. "Funny thing is, my middle name is actually Robert," laughed "Judas" during his post-match ice bath in the visitor's dressing room, "I showed up to the Demons' HQ and the GM met me at the door and said matter of factly 'I know we signed you, but you're not stepping foot in our facilities or being paid a cent until you take yourself to the Social Services office and change your first or middle name to Judas. Whichever you choose, that's the name you go by from now on.' I said 'You're a Gaga fan too eh?' Ace gave me a big smile and gave me a turkey leg. Didn't taste like turkey though." With this acquisition, it appears Kendrick Mckenzie's days on the squad may be numbered. Despite being around since the conception of the team, he was never quite the type to buy into the team-first mentality. It certainly doesn't help that he's vegan. "I was always the lone wolf, minus the wolf," he said, "I did the best I could. But I guess nobody's in love with Kendrick baby." The Demons of Razgriz also bought 45-rated RM Roland Wallach via hostile clause this week; he has been designated part time starter in McZero's 3-6-1/3-5-2 schemes and full time drink server and equipment manager, tasked with picking up balls and equipment after every practice and doing the team laundry. |
08/07/2011 05:49 |
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