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| Forum » Foro Liga International 55 League » Slipi's Bio | Date | |
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5569 msgs.
Golden Ball
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Read it and weep. This is the fateful story of Slipi, an odd character with an equally odd history. I was granted special permission to interview him and compile this story. The interview was conducted in a “clean” room, and Slipi was wearing an Environmental Hazard Suit. Slipi was born to a gypsy mother and carny father in a dirty trailer as the road show traveled through suburbs of Coventry, England. The sight of him at birth was horrific…he was a scaly, lizard tongued individual who hissed at his mother as soon as he saw the light of day. He was placed on a hillside and left to die. Fortunately, a kindly woman was out picking flowers that day, and took in this poor, afflicted creature. She was lonely, as her father (a decorated war hero) was on a deep cover, classified mission. His mother home schooled him to protect him from the taunts and teases of children, which left scaly Slipi friendless. This problem would be cured when he turned 10 and was allowed to go out for a walk by himself after a rainstorm. A beautiful rainbow crossed the sky, and the young lizard boy followed it to the end – where he met Fluffernutter O’Mally; his leprechaun BFF. Slipi raced home to tell his mother about his new friend, but she could not see Fluffernutter and said “isn’t that nice…” Slipi consults Fluffernutter about all major decisions to this very day. When he was 14, Slipi’s foster father returned from duty, and took pity on the boy, teaching him tactics, strategy and deception, and giving him his first PC – a Radio Shack TRS-80. This proved to be a fortuitous gift. The boy with 3 fingers was able to learn quickly and type even quicker! His father taught him to drive when he was 16, and he loved going fast. One day, after eating marshmallows for the first time (which, oddly enough, causes lizards to get hallucinate) Slipi went out for a drive. This marshmallow gave him a bad trip, because he was soon chased by an army of Fluffernutters… Driving for his life, he managed to dodge oncoming traffic and slam headfirst into a telephone pole. Ambulances were late to the scene, and Slipi was dead when he arrived at the hospital. Three hours of resuscitation brought him back to life…altered. He woke up claiming to be an alien (Gule) capable of predicting the future, so long as he had his “Magic 8-ball”. Slipi was still in there, and became the dominant personality after years of therapy, but Gule still lurks, with his 8 ball. Part of his therapy was playing football with a local youth team made up of delinquents. It was here that he discovered his passion and ability for football, something that he would carry for the rest of his second life. One day, as an old woman passed the practice field, Slipi yelled out “Every woman has a right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege” What a mean bastard. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. She would have the last laugh, cursing him with a deadly and virulent disease which kills anyone he touches. Half of his football team died within 3 days and he was put into quarantine. Unable to do anything except play on the computer and eat the meals that were served to him through an airlock, he became a hacker. Within 3 years, he used his hacking ability to assume control of a local football club, and named himself General Manager. Without ever meeting a single person face to face, he was able to secure 2 promotions in 3 years. Early this year, he hacked his second team and hired himself as the GM of a division 6 Striker FA club – now named 4ll41. He, Fluffernutter O’Malley, and Gule now rule by committee from a hideout in an undisclosed location…somewhere in the suburbs of Coventry. Edited by rebsiot 14-07-2011 07:23 |
14/07/2011 07:18 |
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921 msgs.
MVP of the game
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Indeed a sad, sad sorry, every word of it true... almost... well, maybe... I am always caught in 3 minds about every decision... except one... Fab article  |
14/07/2011 08:44 |
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3363 msgs.
Best scorer
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Fluffernutter <===== brilliant  |
14/07/2011 08:59 |
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