| Forum » Off-topic » Funny story ! | Date | |
|---|---|---|
|
3547 msgs.
Best scorer
|
These are funny , keep it up guys ! | 26/08/2011 15:32 |
| - Div/Gr | ||
|
64 msgs.
Rookie
|
one of my all time fav joke/story:- The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well : Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? >> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being. THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+. Edited by inertia 26-08-2011 16:45 |
26/08/2011 16:10 |
| - Div/Gr | ||
|
Username
715 msgs.
MVP of the game
|
Perfect one said: That was hilarious jacobpark. Cup holder? That's the same dude that, while taking a call, turned to me, muted his mic and said "man, this lady is completely retarded". When he went back to the call, the lady told him "I heard that! Let me speak to your supervisor". He then mumbled "my mute button is almost as dysfunctional as you" and then handed the call over to me... LOL. That guy made work almost enjoyable. |
26/08/2011 16:24 |
| - Div/Gr | ||
|
261 msgs.
First-team player
|
inertia said: one of my all time fav joke/story:- The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well : Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? >> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being. THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+. Edited by inertia 26-08-2011 16:45 nice really. except that this one part 'leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being. ' killed the joke  |
26/08/2011 18:53 |
| - Div/Gr | ||
|
Username
4668 msgs.
Best scorer
|
Two thieves break into a bank in the middle of the night and open a safe. There is only some yogurt, but no money. They taste the yogurt. It's tainted. The men open the next safe. There is some yogurt too, it tastes much better but again - no money. The thieves take on another safe. And there's yogurt again. "John, why don't you go outside and look if it is indeed a bank!" says one to the other, and sits down to eat the yogurt which tastes really fresh and nutritious this time. A couple of minutes later in comes John. "It is definitely a bank!" "What exactly did the sign say?" "The Sperm Bank ! "" |
26/08/2011 19:21 |
| - Div/Gr | ||
|
3547 msgs.
Best scorer
|
Rishu story : 1000x laugh I'm expect some easy understanding story , lol and dirty too |
26/08/2011 19:23 |
| - Div/Gr | ||
|
Username
4668 msgs.
Best scorer
|
Bob works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Bob! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Bob. "He's on my bowling team." When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "I recognize her; she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey." A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, "Geez, Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time!" |
26/08/2011 19:36 |
| - Div/Gr | ||
|
3547 msgs.
Best scorer
|
Hahahahha, oh my that was funny as hell | 26/08/2011 19:59 |
| - Div/Gr | ||
|
Username
4668 msgs.
Best scorer
|
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tightly so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?" "Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat." "But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest. The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!" |
26/08/2011 20:07 |
| - Div/Gr | ||
|
Username
4668 msgs.
Best scorer
|
http://ri.rediffiland.com/homepimages/home3/406/7a9dfc5d806789d8dc28a45a7e3bd53d/homep/images/1237618424 | 26/08/2011 20:13 |
| - Div/Gr | ||
2
