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 Teacher: What is the square root of 69?

Student: I don't know

Teacher : You don't know anything ! Idiot !

Student : I have a question for u madam, that you can never answer.

Teacher : Ahh! Ask?
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Student: Why this Kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri di??

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A student was heading home for the holidays. When she got to the airline counter, she presented her ticket to New York. As she gave the agent her luggage, she made the remark, "I'd like you to send my green suitcase to Hawaii, and my red suitcase to London."

The confused agent said, "I'm sorry, we can't do that."

"Really??? I am so relieved to hear you say that because that's exactly what you did to my luggage last year!"
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Maths Class of 2011:

2, 3, 5 : Prime Numbers
6, 8, 9 : Composite Numbers
Munni, Sheila, Jalebi Bai : Item Numbers
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Boy: I wanna tell u something.

Girl: It's not good to talk while eating.

AFTER EATING

Girl: Now tell me.

Boy: There was a cockroach in ur food.
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Scientists were playing "Hide n Seek".

It was Einstein's turn to seek. All the scientists went and hide except Newton.

He simply drew a square of 1 meter, and stood inside the square. Einstein finished counting & spotted Newton.

He screamed, "I found Newton"

Newton calmly replied: "You are wrong."I'm Newton standing in a square of 1m, which makes me Newton per square metre, which is equal to "Pascal"

Hence I'm Pascal!
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Teacher: Lofer aur Offer me kya antar hai??
Student: Simple mam,
ladka 'I love you' bole to "Lofer"

Aur
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ladki 'I love you' bole to "Offer".... Right
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Laws Which Newton Forgot To State

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change ur queue, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telefone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone u know increases when u r with sum1 u don't want to b seen with : P

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Mom: Son, get up its time to go to College.

Son: No mom. I dont want to go to College.

Mom: Give me 2 reason why dont u want to go to college.

Son:
1. All students hate me.
2. The whole staff hates me.

Mom: Ooh! Thats not a reason. Come on.U must go to college.

Son: Give me 2 reasons why i should go 2 college.

Mom:
1. U are 57 years old.
2. U are the PRINCIPAL of the college........!
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UNKNOWN CALL :-

He-------Do you have Bf ?

SHE-----Yes ! Who are you ?

HE ----- Main bol raha hoon tera BHAI..ruk ghar aata hoon fir bata hoon tujhe (angry)
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ANOTHER UNKONWN CALL :-----

HE ------Do you have Bf ?

SHE --------oh no no! Who are you?

HE ------ I am ur BF (angry) Cheat u broke my heart.....

SHE -------Oh Sorry Darling !!! I thought u r my brother.....

HE---- Main tera BHAI hi bol raha hoon kamini Ruk aaj tu...
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Why Hindu Law does not permit Second Marriage...???
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... Answer-
Indian Constitution-Article 20(2)-says,
"No man can be punished twice for same offence."
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Santa applied in a medical college but never cleared it as these were his answers:
Antibody: One who hates his/her body….!
Artery: Study of painting….!
Bacteria: Back door of cafeteria….!
Coma: punctuation mark..!
Genes: Blue Denim….!
Labor pain: hurt at work….!
Ultrasound: Radical Sound….!
Cardiology: advance study of playing cards….!
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A Boy Was Going With His Girl Friend

Friend Asked : Who Is She?

Boy : My Cousin.

The Frend Said: Last Year She Was My Cousin.
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Different types of Girlfriend fighting with their boyfriend...

Pilot's Girlfriend : Zyada ud Matt Samjha

Teacher's Girlfriend : Mujhe mat Sikhao Samjhe

Dentist's Girlfriend : Daant tod ke hath me de dungi

C.A.'S Girlfriend : Hisaab se reh samjha...

Engineer's Girlfriend : "Abey pehle Pass toh ho ja fir baat karna"
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Wife: Can you help me in garden?
Husband: what do you think, i am a gardner??
Wife: Can you fix door handle?
Husband: What do you think, i m a carpenter?
In the evening when husband came from the work, he saw everything has been fixed. He asked wife who fixed this.
... ... Wifeur neighbour. But he gave me 2 options. Either i should give him burger or a kiss.
Husband: I am sure you must have given a burger.
Wife:"What do u think, i am "McDonald's ?
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A silly tourist asked a boat
guy: "do you know Biology, Psychology, Geography,
Geology?"

The boat guy said: "NO to all the questions".

The tourist then said: "What the hell you know on the face of this
earth ? You will die of illiteracy !!

After a while, the boat started sinking, so the
boatman asked the tourist: "Do you know Swimology and Escapology from
Crocodilogy?"

The tourist said: NO !!

The boat guy replied: "Well you will Drownology and Crocodilogy will
eat your Bodiology and you will Dieology
because of your Badmouthology"
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Traffic police chalan book nikaal ke bola: 'Naam bol?'

Ladka: Galti ho gaya Sir...

Police: Naam Bol
... ... ... ...
Ladka: Sorry sir Iss baar jane do...dobara nahi hoga

Police: Naam bol

Ladka: "Trikulavattyy Thekkeparambli Venkateshwara Swami"

Police (book band karke): "Agli baar gaadi dhire chalana!"
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Woman Buys A New Sim
Card Puts It In Her Phone
And Decides To Surprise Her
Husband Who Is Seated On
The Couch In The Living Room.

She Goes To The Kitchen,
Calls Her Husband With
The New Number:

"Hello Darling"
The Husband Responds
In A Low Tone:

"Let Me Call U Back
Later Honey, The Dumb
Lady Is In The Kitchen.
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Nurse: How old are you?
Patient: None of your business.
Nurse: But the doctor must know your age for his records.
Patient: Well, first, multiply twenty by two, then add ten. Got that?
Nurse: Yes. Fifty.
Patient: All right, now subtract fifty, and tell me, what do you get?
Nurse: Zero.
Patient: Right. And that's exactly the chance of me telling you my age
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Girlfriend : "Last night I had a dream of you."
Boyfriend (got excited): "Maine kya kiya tumhare sapne mein aa ke"
Girlfriend replied : "We were traveling in bus,
Suddenly the bus lost control and fell in the river.
Everyone swam to save their life, but you were still swimming and searching for someone."
Boyfriend (with luv): "I was searching for you, na ? ♥ "
Girlfriend said: NO, You were shouting,
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"Arrey, conductor kidhar gaya, 2 rupaye lene the"
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A Chini was in hospital.
SANTA went to meet him.
Chini said "CHING CHONG, MOU.CHU CHA" & died.
SANTA went china 2 know the meaning,
that was:-
KUTTE OXYGN Ke PIPE SE PAIR Utha.
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Marketing Concepts Examples for MBA Students

A Professor Explained Marketing to MBA Students

1. You see gorgeous girl in party, you go to her & say I am rich marry me - That’s – Direct Marketing.

2. You attend party & your friend goes to a girl & pointing at you tells her. He’ is very rich, marry him - That’s Advertising.

3. Girl walks to you & says u are rich, can u marry me? - “That’s Brand Recognition“

4. You say I m very rich marry me & she slaps you - “That’s Customer Feedback“

5. You say I m very rich marry me & she introduces you to her husband - “That’s Demand & Supply Gap“

6. Before you say I m rich, marry me, you wife arrives - That’s Restriction from Entering New Market.
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On the set of KBC...
A guy got stuck on a Rs. 1 crore question.
He uses phone-a-friend, and chooses
his girlfriend to ask the answer.
Amitabh: Hey, you've got 30 seconds
to answer and your time starts now!
Boy reads out the question and the 4 options.
Girl: Mil gaya time tumhe phone karne ka?
Mujhe tumse koi baat nahi karni! Byeee!!
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more comming up!!!
post your comments for me to know how was it ?

 13/12/2011 19:41
  - Div/Gr
Username
705 msgs.
MVP of the game
 Good, but needs moved to off topic area. 13/12/2011 19:55
  - Div/Gr
935 msgs.
MVP of the game
 still in general! 13/12/2011 19:58
  - Div/Gr
Username
4820 msgs.
Best scorer
 Good...

Moved too... 		13/12/2011 20:08
  - Div/Gr
935 msgs.
MVP of the game
 thanks 13/12/2011 20:09
  - Div/Gr
Username
4257 msgs.
Best scorer
 saw them somewhere in facebook .. 13/12/2011 20:44
  - Div/Gr
935 msgs.
MVP of the game
 i made a page for them
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Jokes-for-Fun/106237466162851 		13/12/2011 20:46
  - Div/Gr
3168 msgs.
Best scorer
 I liked the one about Einstein and Newton hahahaha 13/12/2011 22:11
  - Div/Gr
Username
2768 msgs.
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 Good one but half of them can be understood only by Indians chotu, you have to do a bit of editing if you want to have more readers 14/12/2011 07:23
  - Div/Gr
     
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